Photo: me + dad, taking a refreshment break while working on the fence (~1978)
Iβve been describing Top Three as βa weekly collection of things I notice in 2021β. But I didnβt anticipate this.
On Tuesday this week my dad passed away. It's sad but also a relief that he's no longer in pain. The irony of this is it's been a lovely week with my mother, brother and sisters together in person remembering the fun times we all had with him.
π¨βπ§βπ¦ Father
Dad Jokes get all of the attention.
And more recently Dad Bods.
But what about Dad Advice? I think itβs under-rated.
When my own kids were young they both asked βwhy?β all the time. It was exhausting. But lately Iβve noticed the tables have turned. When I see them making assumptions about the world or not paying attention and missing something interesting or treating something thatβs complex as if it was simple, Iβve started consciously asking them βwhy?β and getting them to explain it to me. Itβs fun.
Sometimes questions rather than instructions are what tease out the biggest lessons. Perhaps, in years to come, theyβll reflect on that.
Still, there is a place for an over-repeated expression too. Two of my greatest hits from the last 16 years of being a dad are:
Focus on what you have rather than what you donβt have.
And:
You only get one chance to make a first impression.
But the one that has been especially front of mind this week as Iβve been remembering my own dad is:
Sometimes you have to do things you donβt want to do.
He would say this to me constantly. Perhaps I was just especially reluctant to work hard when I was young. Or maybe we had a different definition of what was important work. Either way, I catch myself every time I say it and can physically feel history repeating.
For some people I expect speaking at a Memorial Service for their dad would be firmly in the βwould prefer not to doβ category. But tomorrow, when I get this opportunity, Iβll remember this and be proud to talk about some of the many lessons we got from dad over the years.
He showed us by example that speaking in front of a crowd was not something to be scared of but an exciting opportunity.
He didnβt miss many opportunities.
β Descend
Speaking of eulogies β¦
This week marked the 68th anniversary of the first ascent of Mount Everest by Tenzing Norgay and Edmund Hillary.
Hillary and Tenzing reach summit of Everest, 29 May 1953
Sir Ed climbed his Everest (which just happened to be theΒ actualΒ Everest) at the age of 35. And, after that he got on with the next thing.
I remember watching his funeral on TV. This quote from Peter Hillaryβs eulogy to his dad sticks in my head (from memory, so please excuse me if I donβt have the wording exactly right):
βDonβt wait for great things to happen to you, or else you might be waiting a very long time.β
Iβm interested in the language we use to describe Sir Edβs original achievement. For example, in the article I linked to above the first line is: βA beekeeper from New Zealand, Edmund Hillary, and the Nepalese Sherpa Tenzing Norgay became the first people to stand on the summit of the worldβs highest peak.β
There is another great Sir Ed quote about this. He was asked about the possibility that a previous expedition had actually reached the summit before them. He immediately replied (and again Iβm paraphrasing): βI always considered it a return trip.β
The reason we remember him is not because he was in the first group to reach the summit. Itβs because they were the first to reach the summit who also made it down to tell their story.
Source: βFailing and Flyingβ by Jack Gilbert
π Loop
Here is a wonderful 5-minute βlightningβ talk just shared today by Marcin Wichary:
This is a live recording, without any post production or editing. Bravo, Marcin! ππ¬
Itβs fun to mess with time, even if youβre not in Paris.
BONUS: back in the before-times, when we used to hold conferences in person and invite people from overseas to come and speak, Marcin presented at Webstock in Wellington. His talk there is very different, delving deep into the details of early user interface experiments:
Charles Babbageβs mouse pointer
Enjoy!
Top Three is a weekly collection of things I notice in 2021. Iβm writing it for myself, and will include a lot of half-formed work-in-progress, but please feel free to follow along and share it if itβs interesting to you.